Battletoads review - Nintendo Entertainment System

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Despite their similarities to a certain number of hard-shelled amphibian assassins, life as a Battletoad couldn't be simpler. There are no crime-fighting japes for these dudes - just spend their time living it up on the cosmopolitan party planet of Lost Vega!

Due to her sorry penchant for destroying planets, the twisted Dark Queen is barred from visiting this veritable pleasure palace. In a fit of pique, the megalomaniacal monarch kidnaps the top toad Pimple and the toads' girlfriend Princess Anjelica. With these captives she plans to force our heroes into green slavery on her fortress planet. Her plan backfires when Rash and Zitz escape her clutches and launch their rescue bid, along with mentor Professor T Bird and their fabbo space ship, the Vulture.

Now it's up to Rash (and Zitz in two-player mode) to battle their way through the many platform levels of the Dark Queen's homeworld. Their aim is to reach the core containing the Dark Queen and the toads' captive companions. Many obstacles bar their way, from flying warthogs and giant laser-toting walker robots to seas of lava and mile-deep pits! Are they toad enough to pull it off or are they condemned to end their days being served up in a swanky French restaurant (that's frogs you're thinking of you dozy nit - JAZ)?

What the Mean Machines staff thought


" The prospect of another NES platform game wasn't exactly appealing, although the Gameboy title upon which this is based was fab. Still, one go of Battletoads was enough to allay our fears. Although Battletoads has a lot in common with a number of other games, it seems to have borrowed the best elements of each. The presentation is great, with long cartoon-style intermissions and attract sequences. The graphical excellence of these is not quite carried through to the game itself - the sprites are a bit small although they are very well animated. The sound is bearable with some unobtrusive tunes and a number of entertaining effects. It's the gameplay which makes Battletoads stand out from the crowd. The emphasis is more on beat 'em up action than platforming with lots of things to hit. It's a good thing too, as the platform bits let the game down slightly, the collision detection for your landings is quite poor leading to a number of unfair deaths. One of the greatest things about Battletoads though is the sheer variety. There are so many changes in the action, such as the jet biking and abseiling sections, that it's difficult to get bored. Battletoads is no pushover either, there are a lot of levels and although they're not particularly long they pack quite some challenge. Given the lack of top notch beat 'em ups on the NES Battletoads is well worth the money. "

" Combining a variety of different game styles, great graphics, a neat sense of humour and some superb, challenging and highly addictive gameplay, Battletoads is a refreshing and original game which really grabbed me. The game is brilliantly designed to allow you to get just a little bit further each time you play, and give experts the potential to hone their skills and rack up enormous amounts of bonus points. It's this aspect that kept me coming back constantly, even after I'd finished the game! Battletoads is definitely one of the best Nintendo games I've played for quite a while and shouldn't be missed under any circumstances. "


Overall Score93%

Bradley - 03 Jan 2013, 03:30 GMT

I bought this issue back in the day and I owned the game as well.

While I found Rads comments quite accurate, those of Julian are complete shit. I always doubted that he actually played the game beyond the early levels and reading the review again, 20 years hence, has not changed my opinion one iota.

Battletoads deservedly earns its reputation as one of the hardest games to complete on the NES, ever. The game isn't just rock hard, it’s f*cking titanium reinforced alloy hard.

I have never met anyone who claims to have finished it and that includes me! It is, indeed, a game that haunts me to this day. Ghosts and Goblins I’m looking at you as well...

Julian talks about the games progressive difficulty (bullshit), racking up oodles of bonus points (bullshit), then boasts gleefully about how he finished it like it was a walk in the park (mega bullshit). He doesn't give any detail about the games levels at all. I also note that there are no screen shots from later in the game either.

I call bullshit on his review and in particular I call huge mound of bullshit on the 'medium' difficulty rating!

Mean Machines Issue 19 - April 1992
Beat 'Em Up Nintendo Entertainment System
Publisher: Tradewest
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